Sy Rogers

=Early life=

The first half of Rogers' life was described by himself as an "emotional concentration camp". His alcoholic mother was killed in a car wreck when he was four. Prior to that, he was sexually molested by a family "friend". After his mother's death, he was separated from my father for a year. He lived in an emotional vacuum. His identity and security as a male was left unaffirmed and unnourished. Later in school, he was routinely ridiculed, rejected and physically abused due to his effeminate mannerisms. Even though he tried to "conform to the norm", he was continually labelled a homosexual and a failure as a man. It was no wonder he had problems.

As a teenager, Rogers had not yet identified himself as homosexual. Yet, he was certainly aware of his attractions to the same sex and he felt fear and shame. A few years later, when eventually involving himself in the gay scene, he felt such a sense of relief. He felt accepted and understood. At last, he had a place to belong. It was great for a while. Soon he was living in the fast lane, and always surrounding himself with others who would reaffirm and reinforce the gay life. When living in Hawaii, his two gay room-mates became husband and husband in that State's first non-official gay-male wedding in a pro-gay church. He was their "Best Man". Yet later, they would become the first to tell me that overcoming homosexuality was possible -- they had begun the effort themselves. They said God was helping them, and that they were praying for him. I laughed in contempt, thinking they were some kind of traitors.

Rogers' own journey out of the gay life first began with his attempt at securing male love by becoming a woman through a sex change. Though he did not get around to ever having the surgery, he was on hormone therapy and lived as a woman for about a year and a half. Yet, even then he realised that surgery could not really solve his problems and would not secure love for him. Realising that I had not managed my life very well on his own, he finally began sincerely seeking after God. It was his re-ignited faith in God that led him down a new path he once thought impossible for him. It was not that he was trying to stop being gay. He did not know "how" -- or if it was possible. He was however, willing to stop living my life on his terms. Instead, he yielded to God on His terms. That was in January 1980.

At the time, his gay friends thought he was crazy. They said he would be back in the bars in a week -- a month -- a year. He never went back. But it was not easy. He did have a lot of struggles in the beginning, but like most worthwhile efforts, perseverance paid off. Today he very much enjoys the opportunity to live beyond his past problems. He enjoys being a husband since l982, and a father. It is not proof that he is not gay, but it is evidence of a life he never thought possible. His recovery process took time and work and the encouragement and accountability of my supportive friends. More importantly, his recovery depended on my willingness to co-operate with God. Over the years and around the globe, everyone that he personally knew -- or knew of -- that had overcome homosexuality had been enabled to do so as a direct consequence of a life yielded to God and committed to the way of Christ. Though he would never live his life as if he had never been homosexual, he was able to live beyond having been homosexual. And he is not unique. There were many thousands of ex-homosexuals, though most are not public about it. He had met many in Singapore, and in Asia ... in fact, around the world.

=See also=
 * Leslie Lung
 * Ex-gay movement in Singapore

=References=
 * Sinclair Rogers, "Questions I'm Asked Most about Homosexuality", Christian Resources about Homosexuality and AIDS, freeministry.org.

=Acknowledgements=

This article was written by Roy Tan.

Sinclair "Sy" Rogers' dramatic story of overcoming homosexuality has been shared on 6 continents and in numerous publications and media interviews. He has hosted award-winning TV and Radio programmes in the U.S., specifically dealing with recovery from sexually-related problems.

Sinclair has served as President of Exodus International -- North America, the world-wide network of Christian agencies with outreach to the sexually broken. Sinclair has also been selected as one of the Outstanding Young Men of America, as well as Who's Who in Human Services Professionals.

He and his wife Karen have been married since 1982. They have one daughter ... at least for now. Sinclair is on pastoral staff with Church of Our Saviour, Singapore.