Same-sex parenting in Singapore

LGBT parenting refers to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people parenting one or more children. This includes:


 * children raised by same-sex couples (same-sex parenting)
 * children raised by single LGBT parents
 * children raised by an opposite-sex couple where at least one partner is LGBT.

LGBT people can become parents through various means including current or former relationships, coparenting, adoption, donor insemination, and surrogacy.

Scientific research consistently shows that gay and lesbian parents are as fit and capable as heterosexual parents, and their children are as psychologically healthy and well-adjusted as those reared by heterosexual parents. Major associations of mental health professionals in the U.S., Canada, and Australia have not identified credible empirical research that suggests otherwise.

=Forms of and options for LGBT parenting=

Even though they are under the radar of mainstream society, many LGBT Singaporeans have become parents through various means including current or former conventional marital and extramarital relationships, coparenting, adoption, foster care and more recently, donor insemination and surrogacy.

Many children from conventional families in Singapore do not know they have an LGBT parent because of the social, religious and legal stigma associated with being LGBT which inhibits these parents from coming out. As the periodic national census does not attempt to collect data on the sexual orientation or gender identity of Singaporeans, it is unknown how many LGBT or same-sex couples with children there exist locally.

However, a private study has recently been carried out to determine just what these figures are so as to better meet the needs of these families. The results of the study will be published in due course.

=Pregancy=

This option is obviously only available to lesbian couples with the current state of medical technology. There are advantages and disadvantages of conceiving a child via this avenue.

Procedure
This may be:


 * natural - having sexual intercourse with the sperm donor, or
 * assisted - insertion of the donor sperm using a syring and tube. Insert via Not preferred option.

Disadvantages
Home insemination of donor sperm is not the preferred option.

Some men donate sperm for humanitarian reasons, others for money or both.

The lesbian couple must make sure the sperm donor is HIV- and STI-free. Blood tests need to be done to verify this but tests can only reveal so much. The donor has to be trusted not to go out and have random sex with strangers after the tests are done or run the risk of being tested during the window period for HIV infection. It is risky and therefor not recommended unless the couple knows the donor very well.

If the donor knows the lesbian couple has his biological child, he has legal recourse to visitation rights after child is born. Also, if DNA tests prove that he is the father, he can request that his name be on the birth certificate.

Lesbian couples must be very clear as to whom this person is. He must be aware of what kind of parenting agreement the couple wants to have. It is recommended a contract be drafted stipulating what rights the donor has with regard to the child after it is born. The contract may not stand in Singapore's courts but at least the couple has some document signed by both parties to go by.

Legal status
Artificial insemination of single women is illegal in Singapore.

Medically assisted insemination
While this cannot be done in Singapore for single women, you can travel to a few countries to do it. Some of the popular choices are Thailand, Taiwan and United States.

There are 2 types of medically assisted insemination available – the lesser known IntraUterine Insemination (IUI) and the more commonly known Invitro Fertilization (IVF)

For both methods you can purchase sperm from sperm banks and get it sent to the hospital of your choice. Some countries have local sperm banks, others such as Thailand, allow you to purchase sperm from overseas and ship it into the country.

Tips:


 * Do be financially prepared as medically assisted insemination can be fairly costly. It is good to keep in mind the costs of travel to the foreign country, accommodation and fees for the procedure.
 * It is possible to get some preparation tests done in Singapore and only head overseas to get the actual procedure done. This can save some time and money.
 * There are a variety of sperm banks available, so do research beforehand and pick a bank with a good range of donor profiles that are close to what you require.

This is deemed to be better than home insemination. However, it is not available to unmarried couples in Singapore where one has to to be married to get fertility treatment.

in Singapore. Can do overseas.

Thailand, esp. Bangkok - know few doctors willing to do for lesbian women, Taiwan, USA

Cost varies. IUI cheaper. Lower success rate. Less invasive. Faster procedure. Fly to Bangkok over weekend to do, come back by

Monday. Take sperm, put in syringe, has catheter going into uterus. Deposit sperm there, deeper instead of in vagina. 20%

success rate. Same success rate as having sex with someone.

Choice of doctor in Singapore very important. Want to be open about sexuality from start. Know gay-friendly doctors in Singapore

who have delivered children of lesbian women. Can share resources if interested.

Private hospitals not necessarily better. Known case of lesbian couple delivering but staff don't let partner into operating

theatre until obstetrician said won't start the surgery until partner is let in.

In government hospitals, if not married, partner will not be allowed into OT. Natural birth is OK but not for Caesarean. Can

appeal on case by case basis. If don't succeed, may want to consider whether to have the child in that hospital or not.

Intrauterine insemination (IUI)
IUI is a method whereby washed sperm is taken and put into the uterus using catheter. The success rate for IUI is around 5 to 20%. The success rates are significantly increased if the period cycle is closely monitored and fertility drugs are used prior to the procedure. This is a simpler procedure and thus is the cheaper of the two options.

In vitro fertilisation (IVF)
IVF is a method whereby eggs are extracted from the ovaries and mixed with sperm to form embryos. These are then taken and transplanted into the uterus. The success rate for IVF is between 15 to 40%. A lot of it depends on the age of the mother and quality of the eggs retrieved. This is a more complex procedure and is generally between 8 to 10 times more expensive than IUI.

Birth
The choice of obstetrician and hospital will be very important as this will determine the entire birth experience.

While the general experience in Singapore has been mostly pleasant, we do have cases whereby the hospital refused to acknowledge the biological mother’s partner. Partners have also been banned from operation theatres during C-sections and are generally not recognised as next of kin of the biological mother. Couples are recommended to be open with their doctors from the beginning and seek a second or third opinion if the doctor seems to be homophobic.

Giving birth in Singapore means the biological mother can use medisave to pay for part of the delivery fees. However, do note that the Maternity package will not be available as the biological mother of the child will be considered a single mother. The child will not be entitled to Baby Bonus or other subsidies that require the parents of the child to be married.

Local
LGBTQ persons can adopt as a single parent as long as they fit the following requirements as per the Ministry of Social and Family Development.

Residency Status – You must be residents in Singapore to adopt, i.e. Singapore Citizens or Permanent Residents, or holders of Employment Pass, Dependant’s Pass or any other Pass which the Family Court deems as residents in Singapore.

Age – You must be at least 25 years old and at least 21 years older than the child to be adopted. Maximum age gap between adopter and child must not be more than 50 years older than the child.

Marital status – If you are a single male, you are not allowed to adopt a girl, unless there are special circumstances to justify the adoption.

Home study report – If you wish to adopt a foreign child or a child from MSF, you are required to apply for a Home Study Report.

Pre-adoption Briefing – You should attend a compulsory Pre-Adoption Briefing (PAB) before you apply for a home study or begin the legal proceedings on adoption.

The estimated cost of adoption is between S$8,000 to S$20,000.

Surrogacy
Surrogacy is the agreement of a woman to carry a pregnancy for the intended parents.

There are two main types of surrogacy, gestational surrogacy and traditional surrogacy.

Gestational surrogacy
In gestational surrogacy, the pregnancy results from the transfer of an embryo created by IVF, in a manner so the resulting child is genetically unrelated to the surrogate. This type of surrogacy requires an egg donor.

Traditional surrogacy
In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is impregnated naturally or artificially, but the resulting child is genetically related to the surrogate. In this case, the surrogate is the egg donor.

Legal status
Surrogacy is not legal in Singapore but can be done in other countries including Thailand and the United States.

Thailand
Thailand is now Asia’s surrogate country of choice since India closed its doors to gay couples in January 2013.

Bangkok has a booming surrogacy industry with 35% of intending parents being gay men. However, there are some important laws that need to be noted. The most important law is that the surrogate mother must have her name on the child’s birth certificate. She is also the legal guardian, as a child born out of wedlock is deemed to be the legitimate child of the mother. The father has no parental rights, even if he is listed on the birth certificate. Therefore it is important to ensure the surrogate mother agrees to relinquish all rights to the child after birth.

The average cost of surrogacy in Bangkok is US$40,000, cheaper by half from United States and the proximity to Singapore makes it a more attractive choice for Singaporeans.

Tips:


 * Make sure that the surrogate enters into a contract outlining her intent to allow the child to be adopted by the biological sperm donor – the father listed on the birth certificate.
 * Be prepared to be in Thailand for around 3 to 4 weeks after the birth of the child as that is how long it takes for the child to get a birth certificate and a passport.

USA
The United States’ lenient laws towards surrogacy have made the country an ideal place for gay couples to find a woman to carry their child.

Across the U.S. laws vary by state, with six states criminalising paid surrogacy, including New York, Michigan, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah and Washington. The surrogacy-friendly states are California, Illinois, Arkansas and Massachusetts. These states allow for paid surrogacies and some have agencies that specialise in locating surrogate mothers for gay couples. These agencies will also assist in preparing paperwork so that both fathers can have their names on the birth cert and the surrogate mother’s rights are correctly terminated.

The costs of surrogacy in United States starts from US$100,000. Taking into consideration airfares, accommodation and other miscellaneous expenses, be prepared to spend between US$100,000 to US$200,000.

Tips:


 * Be sure to use a reputable agency, preferably one recommended by someone who has used their services before. This will help in preventing unnecessary complications and headaches.

=Developing methods=

Currently, scientists are conducting research on alternative types of human parenthood which can aid same-sex couples to have children. One of the possibilities is using induced pluripotent stem cells derived from skin to produce sperm and ova.

=See also=


 * LGBT parenting

=References=


 * Rainbow Parents SG - website, Facebook page.
 * The Chiongs, "A blog about same-sex parenting, accepting happiness & other life hacks".

=Acknowlegdements=

This article was written by Roy Tan.